Duck Hunt

Five doctors went duck hunting one day. After a time, a bird came winging overhead.
The first to react was the GP, who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. "I'm not quite sure it's a duck," he said, "I think that I will have to get a second opinion." And of course by that time, the bird was long gone.
Another bird appeared. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sight. He said, "Besides, it might have babies. I'll have to do some more investigating," he muttered, as the creature made good its escape. Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey's identity. "Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?" The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this a. Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed skywards.BOOM!! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him. "Go see if that was a duck, will you?" 

Old age

An old man went to his doctor for pain in his right knee. After examining and not finding anything wrong, the doctor said, "It's due to your age." The patient said, "Well, my left knee is the same age and it does't have any pain."

Difficult situation

HUSBAND AND WIFE
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die: Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And, most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife."What did the doctor say?"
"You're going to die," she replied.

Doc VS Doc

Two surgeons were talking frankly to each other and the first one says:
Doc 1: Well, to be honest with you, I feel like I am a semi-God.
Doc 2: I don't remember having created you.

Angry Doc

A patient comes into his doctor's office and says "Doctor, Doctor! What does this mean?? I remember what happened 30 years ago, but I can't remember what happened yesterday! What does it mean, Doctor?"
The Doctor replies: "It means you pay your bill before you leave today."

Mistake corrected

General Surgeon to patient, morning after surgery:
Surgeon: Mr Jones, we have some good news and some bad news.
Mr. Jones: Give me the bad first, Doc.
Surgeon: We made a grave mistake and amputated your right leg instead of your left.
Mr. Jones: Oh my gosh!! So what could the good news be?
Surgeon: Your left leg seems to be getting better.

High cost

A vet tells a man that his dog is dead. The man demands a second opinion. The vet brings out a cat. The cat walks all around the body and says, "Meow". The vet then brings in a black Labrador. The Lab paws the body, sniffs, and barks, "Woof." The vet says "They agree with my diagnosis." The man asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650. That's $50 for my diagnosis. The additional $600 is for the cat scan and the lab tests."